I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
