Buhtt sex?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
