You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
