it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
