I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
