so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My ATM looks so different sober.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
