he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
