She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
