idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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