i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
