Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
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