just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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