people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
