how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
