Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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