Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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