So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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