Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
