my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
