Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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