Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
