Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
