My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize