Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
