He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
