I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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