it's not cheating when I paid for it
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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