I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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