Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
