I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
