he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
