So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
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i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
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