if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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