You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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