I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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