I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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