alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Ladies don't puke and tell
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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