Having a random hookup so left but love u
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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