hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
