This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I will be naked everywhere
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
