Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
