We're facebook friends in real life
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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