Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
