i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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