he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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