yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
