Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize