No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
