summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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