i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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