Banned from zoo.
Again?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My bed smells like the plague
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
