Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
These tits shall not be calmed
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
