"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
