and you said cock pushups were impossible
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
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This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
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Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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