So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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