Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
