Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you traded sex for a burrito?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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