Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
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Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
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that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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