so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
