Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
