hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
